I think I’m confused

My deepest soul is fading and disappearing

Two people talking

One showed me how to love

Another one told me ‘You gotta kill them’

That’s why people called them

Angel and demon

Good versus evil

I’m afraid to face them

Bitch I’m suffering!

That’s what happened

Every night I have been tortured by pain

‘We should try to give people more love’

‘Not my business, fuck off’

‘We don’t have any right to judge’

‘He’s definitely trying to make up a lie for us’

‘I’m good with the quit and strove with none’

‘I’ll be the greatest as fuck’

‘I don’t care the money and the fame’

‘I’m gonna buy the fancy clothes drive the fastest cars’

More than 700 days

I’ve been taking a long rest but I feel more tired

Tryna calm but sometimes art’s come from my anger

I believe in Buddha

Always showing love but I know I’m a liar

Tryna control violence in my head

But still wanna kill that motherfucker

Have you ever doubted your faith?

And tryna raise a few questions？

God hath leaden feet, but iron hands

That’s why I’m confus

All I see is a lot of people their own life has been taken

I’m not a Christian but for somehow I’m praying

I’m praying

For everybody

For you

For me

For someone who’s pure and has loyalty

I’m praying cuz I know it

People gotta show their true love forever

Ok I’m done I feel calm

Just wanna ask you something

Things you’ve told me, I found it

But why is that all wrong？

I’m confused

I wonder why the truth is gone

When I need someone to save me

Why don’t you respond?

Now you blame me for I’m losing soul and faith

Tell me what’s the price for being a human I gotta pay

I’m not done yet

I know there’s something beautiful I gotta find it

I don’t believe in destiny

There’s only judge and punish

如果要杀死一个人

只能选择用一种凶器

让他带着愧疚活着会比利刃更加锋利

选择逃离将我自己封闭

仅存的善意正审视着我并发出抗议

蜷缩在那沙发边的缝隙

等待着倒计时

等待着最后被迫放弃

面对这突如其来的痛击

我无法接受现实

此刻显得无比抗拒

盯着破碎不堪的屏幕

投影出我做错的脸

深呼吸以后

习惯性地闭上我没落的眼

安慰自己

人性有错落的面

戒不掉的懦弱

我一次又一次堕落地捡

默默地演

演一条落魄的犬

种种行为都幼稚得像是个未破的茧

没兑现过的言

没能赶上最后一面

算来算去后悔是否来得太过多了点

所以 我试着去弥补这些事呢

去习惯被人怒吼

去习惯被人弃舍

去习惯被人遗忘

去习惯无能为力

想要保护她

奈何我只是个可悲的戏子

是的

我全部通通记得

曾经选择忘记的

我现在选择记得

我现在把我自己剖开

希望你感到赤诚而不是感到赤裸

我曾经讲出谎言

试图躲入那些个假话

我曾经想要得到同情

把多处的痛苦夸大

我曾经眼睁睁的看着多数的人被打压

我曾经目睹这一切后做多数人做的哑巴

我曾经面对珍视的事说不

说无伤大雅

后来也会想方设法去拖住某一个刹那

我曾经为了让她开心说出编出的大话

最后没能兑现她告诉我说 没事的 傻瓜

曾经逃避那些挫折

把错误怪罪给爸爸

曾经把愤怒的情绪过度地带给了妈妈

曾经看着她痛哭后

被错付的情绪夹杂

他们看我的眼神

从充满爱意到充满了害怕

讲到这些犯过的错

泪流得不止

我无法挽回这一篇篇

无法回头的故事

每一次叫醒自己告诫自己

最后也如此

讲出些伪善的借口

随后又感到很无耻

我的神啊

我无法分清我的善伪

但是你能否听到我的这一句句忏悔

每一次失去后来的反悔

这马后炮的嘴脸现在让我感到反胃

很惭愧

我真心感到惭愧

躲在角落不敢面对的我像个残废

Wake up wake up wake up and fight

我不想他们再次为了我悲伤而含泪